As those of us who root for the San Francisco Giants know by now, if winter is behind us and spring has sprung, it’s time to turn our attention to late-night bullpen meltdowns. Which is to say that baseball has returned. Which is also to say that great teams with strong pitching staffs are playing somewhere, but definitely not in the vicinity of the Bay Bridge.

But I digress.

Because the best news about springing springs and last month’s winter is that it means the Santa Lechuga Power League has returned.

And as you know by now, the 2021 season will be the final year for SLPL. Now, many of you have asked us why we’re hanging it up after more than six decades of quality baseball nitwittery. We thought long and hard about that, and we really didn’t come up with anything until Commissioner Rube Furrow was dinking around with Canva to create the logo at the top of this message. You see that typeface up there? The one that says “Santa Lechuga Power League” above the bobbleheads? You know what font that is? It’s called “Glacial Indifference.” And suddenly Commissioner Rube Furrow said to himself, “Why, that’s it! That’s why we’re dismantling the league at the end of the season! Glacial Indifference!

Your commissioner, Rube Furrow, has been with the Santa Lechuga Power League from the get-go. Over the years he’s had to juggle his duties as baseball commissioner and as mayor of the beautiful mission town of Nuestra Senora de la Lechuga, home of the Santa Lechuga Dust Devils. As you know if you’ve spent any time in this league, the Dust Devils won the national E-Division championship back in 1969, back when Santa Lechuga was affiliated with the Seattle Pilots.

Anywho, the SLPL front office wants everybody to know that we’ve got 24 teams signed up for this year’s final season. And we welcome all y’all. We love the team names and we think you’re all the cat’s meow.

Please know that our Director of Operations, Hawk Gandy, promises to have the SLPL Epic Final Season website up and functional just as soon as he can shake last week’s drunk.

Yours in Glacial Indifference,

Rube Furrow
Commissioner (1967-present)
Santa Lechuga Power League

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